Carolean chairs

Had to look that one up!

TY for adding a new word to my vocabulary......but will I remember it????

 

You may need to.

 

Not sure what the intended purpose or impact of the decontextualised and emboldened quotes from my post might be. Actually, that's not true. Of course I am. And I suppose that it's easier than dealing with the actual content of my claims. Cut-and-paste rhetoric trumps engagement, seemingly.

Reasonably happy that by this point in the exchange, and given the degree of the paternalist/maternalist finger wagging that's been directed, I'm entitled to adopt a tone of mild-to-moderate irritation.

But there we are. That's in-group/out-group behaviour for you. Keep those wagons circled tight, folks.

 

if a mod would be good enough to terminate my account?

 

I am glad you changed that sentence, Phil. Being condescending while asking for a favour is never a good move imo.

 

Really? I have no problem with it whatsoever, depending upon the circumstances. That said, I do proceed on a case-by-case basis.

But this isn't what's important. What is important is that you steadfastly and methodically continue to ignore, sidestep or otherwise circumnavigate at all costs any claims against, or criticisms of, esteemed members (aka, buddies) thereby maintaining the integrity of the clique.

 

The hitherto forthright James Conrad is curiously subdued.

What's up James? Cat got your fingers? Come out from behind the skirts of your apologists, why don't you?

 

Phil, my brother/my bachelorette waiter, wait.

You've come to a place where people have already fallen in love and become friends.

You, a complete stranger, were welcomed into this place to ask as many questions as you like.

You asked questions and didn't like the perceived tone of the answers you received.

And then, sitting in our place, you've called our friends a bunch of names and repeatedly and publicly scolded them for bad manners.

And then you're surprised that we take offense?

Well, we also have expectations as to how politely mannered people behave.

My brother/my bachelorette waiter, I hate seeing this happen, but the person who sets the fire cannot then complain about the flames.

 

Phil, you keep implying James was rude to you from the beginning. Read this thread and you will see he wasn't:
https://www.antiquers.com/threads/new-user-hello-could-anyone-kindly-advise-re-painted-table.40043/
He welcomed you like he welcomed any other. We all welcome new people, and you know it. There is no clique.

 

I've responded brusquely to curtness and dismissal, cheerfully to humour and hijinks, respectfully to courtesy and politeness.

I've scolded the subject of my complaint and no-one else. Others, to whom I've directed no criticism or censure whatever, have in turn scolded me.

I've been absolutely at pains, whenever levelling crisicisms, to offer justifications, explicitly and in detail. They have been systematically ignored.

I've taken people, very deliberately and precisely, exactly as I've found them.

It could just be the 'our friends' part of the equation that is the problem here.

Tell me something - if your community were to become a clique, if those defensive impulses were to mutate in the direction of something less familial, less wholesome, do you think you'd recognise it?

Sometimes an outsider might just see something you don't.

 

I have no issue with that interpretation. Personally, I find him curt and dismissive.

For what it's worth, I attempted to send him a personal message yesterday, entitled 'Olive branch.' It failed to send. I can only assume he'd blocked me.

I can understand you wanting to think, or actually thinking, that there isn't something of a clique mentality at play here. It isn't necessarily an actual criticism. Cliques amongst members of communities are an unavoidable psychological and anthropological inevitability. I'm just asking that people jump in - if they're going to - on the basis of evidence, rather than loyalty.

 

Dave, seriously, how much effort are you expending now in order to ensure that you continue missing my point?

 

Thanks Dave. It was my Uncles barn though.

 

That is your very personal assumption. No one can send messages to James.

We get new members almost daily. You call them outsiders, we don't.